Best Practices for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
- EncourageWell
- Dec 9, 2024
- 3 min read
Crafting your own wedding vows is one of the most heartfelt ways to personalize your ceremony. Your vows are a chance to express your love, promises, and dreams for the future, creating a meaningful moment you and your fiancé will cherish forever. But where do you start?
We spoke with Jonathon of The Cheers Company, who provides people with first-class writing services and helps them find their confidence—coaching them to sound like themselves in all the very best ways.
"There’s a lot that goes into a wedding day. Months of planning. Sometimes years. A garden full of flowers, a grocery store full of food. Invitations and suit rentals, road trips and flights. A wedding can sometimes need a small army to pull off. And yet, everything, the whole day, really comes down to one thing.
Your vows capture the essence not only of that day, but of your shared lifetime to come. They’re the magic spell that will carry and protect your love through the years. Through the inevitable difficulties of building a life--brick by brick, choice by choice--with another human being. They let everyone in attendance know, most importantly your fiancé, how you got here. Where you’re going. And the promises you’re willing to make.
Honestly? You can do away with almost all the frills of a wedding day. But not the vows. Those words are what it’s all about."
Want More On How To Write Your Own Wedding Vows?
Keep Reading for EncourageWell's 3 Best Practices
Start with Personal Reflection
Before you write, take a moment to reflect on your relationship. Consider the journey you and your partner have shared so far.
Ask yourself:
What qualities in your partner inspire you the most?
What moments have defined your relationship?
What promises do you want to make for your future together?
Consider jotting down specific memories, inside jokes, or shared dreams that bring your story to life. This reflection will give you a solid foundation for crafting vows that feel deeply personal and unique to your relationship.
Pro Tip: Don’t be afraid to get specific. Mentioning how your partner makes the perfect cup of coffee or their ability always to find the silver lining can make your vows more vivid and heartfelt.
Be Authentic and Speak from the Heart
It’s tempting to Google "best wedding vows" for inspiration or use AI, but your partner doesn’t want a cookie-cutter speech or something written by a computer—they want to hear you. Authenticity is key to making your vows memorable. Focus on expressing how you feel about your partner and what your relationship means to you.
Here’s how to keep it genuine:
Use “I” statements to make your vows personal: “I promise to…” or “I will always…”
Avoid overused phrases or clichés unless they genuinely resonate with you.
Write in the same style as you speak. Your vows don’t need to sound poetic or formal; they should sound like you.
Example: Instead of saying, “I vow to always be there for you,” try something more specific like, “I vow to cheer for you at every marathon, even when you make me get up at 5 a.m. because I know how much your goals mean to you.”
Practice Makes Perfect
Once you’ve drafted your wedding vows, read them aloud to yourself—or even better, to a trusted friend. Practicing will help you refine the flow, adjust awkward phrasing, and ensure your vows are the right length. Aim for vows that take 1-2 minutes to deliver; anything longer might feel overwhelming. Reading your vows out loud also helps you build confidence. On the big day, nerves might make your voice shaky, but practicing beforehand ensures you’ll speak clearly and meaningfully.
Pro Tip: Write your vows on a small card and keep it with you during the ceremony. Even if you’ve practiced extensively, having them written down is a great backup.
Bonus Tip: Preserve Your Vows for a Lifetime
Once the wedding day is over, don’t let your vows fade into memory. Consider capturing them in a keepsake like a JoinWell wedding book. This beautiful book is designed to hold your wedding vows and other cherished memories from your ceremony, such as your guests' speeches, toasts, and kind words.
Ready to Keep the Memories Alive? Visit EncourageWell.com/JoinWell and create a JoinWell wedding book to treasure your vows and every heartfelt moment of your celebration. It’s the perfect way to preserve the love and joy of your special day.
Writing your own wedding vows is a beautiful way to make your wedding ceremony personal and unforgettable. With personal reflection, authenticity, and a little practice, you can craft vows that genuinely capture the essence of your love story. With the JoinWell wedding book, you can preserve those meaningful words forever, ensuring your wedding vows remain a lasting reminder of the promises you made on your wedding day.
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